Valentine's Tips

I always loved Valentine’s Day and you can too! Whether you are single, in a new relationship or have been with the same person for years, you can make Valentine’s Day fun and exciting. Being newly single, I’ve decided to try my luck in Paris. So resign your membership for good in the lonely-hearts club and if you can’t travel follow these tips:

If you are foot-loose and fancy-free this Valentines Day:

• Gather your single girl and guy friends and have a night out on the town. Going out with guys always attracts more guys.

If you are in a new relationship remember to:

• Pick the card that says how happy you are to have met this person rather than the card that says I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you!

If you are celebrating Valentine’s Day with your long-time love, take the opportunity this year to:

• Plan a surprise romantic interlude, be unpredictable, and keep it fresh and exciting. Do something completely new together, have an adventure!

Happy Valentines Day!

With love,

Countess Luann

Samba Your Way Through Winter

Did anyone else overindulge in food and drink over the holidays? All I did was eat, drink and Samba. I was in Brazil where it is not unusual for women to have nice full derrieres. Somehow it looks better on them then it does on me! I always say, don’t let go of the vision of yourself. By this I mean the vision of where you were or where you want to be. You have to decide what works for you.

In Brazil, it’s summer. I think it’s easier to be motivated when you don’t have to deal with the cold. It’s tempting when it’s freezing outside to stay inside and become sedentary. Remember, you’ve got to move! You have to expend energy to have energy. In Brazil, it’s Samba. Newton’s law of physics says that a body in motion stays in motion. It takes consistent exercise to stay in shape, especially as we age. So dance like a Brazilian.

I recently took Samba lessons to get ready for my trip to Brazil. If you can’t get to Samba, gyms are a great place to get started. Everyone is in the same place with the same goal, which is motivating. I integrate weight and cardio training with Pilates and yoga. In the winter, I still take long walks and when I’m in the city, I forgo cabs as much as possible. I carve out time for myself to exercise and as a result have energy and a positive outlook on life.

Exercise alone unfortunately is not enough to keep me in shape. When it’s cold like it is now, I feel like hibernating and eating osso bucco. Eating right coupled with physical activities can make all the difference. I try to stick to my Mediterranean diet, rich in seafood, vegetables and fruits. I eat a rainbow, which means that I eat foods of many colors.

Tip: Remember, it’s the wine or the bread, but not both. You decide? I personally choose the wine!

Seeking Celebrity?

God knows we’ve all crashed a party before, but the Salahis went way too far. Lying to get into a White House dinner? Not only did they compromise national security by pulling this stunt, they also displayed incredibly bad manners.

It is not reality TV that is the problem here; it is the behavior of people who will do anything in the quest for celebrity while compromising their integrity; that is the issue. Celebrity based on outrageous behavior is fleeting, while a person’s recognition for good character is enduring. Sometimes we only get one chance to make a good impression.

My Tips for the Holidays

I’m heading home for Thanksgiving for the first time in many years. It’s a treat for me to be a guest as I normally host the Thanksgiving meal. I love going to my brother’s house because he fries his turkey. Have you ever had fried turkey? It’s amazing.

Having grown up in a large, boisterous family, the holiday season meant big family dinners and many spirited debates disguised as conversation. I learned early on which subjects would incite passionate discussion and which topics were to be avoided at all cost. For example, you mustn’t comment on your bald brother-in-law’s surprising new head of hair.

As my family grows and changes, so does the composition of our holiday dinners. This year will be no different. So when I read the NY Times on November 19th and saw the article “Duck, It’s the Holidays”, I thought, I must share this with my readers.

In this article, Mark Smaller, of the American Psychoanalytic Association, said he believes that holidays can provoke “temporary regressions,” in which parents, adult children and siblings, once reunited, revert to decades-old patterns of behavior. Realizing that this might happen, it’s important to remember that disagreement can be expressed in polite ways such as “lets agree to disagree on that” or “thanks for sharing your thoughts with me." It’s not easy to override years of role-playing, but it can be done.

My secret for navigating the holidays with grace and tact is to remember that my family will always see me in a certain way, most of it positive but not all. In the end, I am simply Luann, the little sister.

I am grateful for my family and savor the time we have together. I hope you enjoy the article and Happy Holidays! Stay strong!

Tip: Remember, think twice before you speak. Less is more.

Here's a link to the NY Times article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/garden/19manners.html

Beyond the Wedding

I could almost hear the wedding bells chiming at Bloomingdales when I appeared to sign books for the brides-to-be. The only thing missing was the grooms. It was a Very Special Registry event hosted by myself and Jorge Perez, the designer extraordinaire whose limited edition gowns are inspired by the rich heritage and romance of old Havana. I felt like Cinderella in the dress he made me. Joining us were David Beahm who designed the most gorgeous tablescapes and Ben Ron-Israel who presented exquisite cakes adorned with amazingly realistic sugar flowers. The setting was so gorgeous and the mood so enthusiastic and hopeful, that it made me want to get married (again)!

In the audience were glowing brides-to-be who came to hear me speak and in their hands was the Bloomingdales registry book that contains everything they could possibly need to be great hostesses. Bride and Knot were there as well to cover the event for their respective publications. I love the etiquette tips they provide preparing brides for one of the biggest days of their life. But manners and etiquette goes well beyond the wedding. It is about being a good hostess, a helpful guest and instilling manners in children because brides and their families are our future!

Being that it is October, I shared with the girls my way of remembering the essentials for hosting a great event. The O in October stands for Organized By being ready for your guests before they arrive, having the table set, food ready to serve in the refrigerator or oven, you can greet your guests with a glass of champagne in your hand and a cool and calm demeanor. The C is for Creative. With Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner, the options are limitless for creative themes, color schemes, and seasonal menus. The T is for Time. A great hostess takes the time to make sure her guests are comfortable, are introduced to other guests and that they feel welcome in her home. Good guests can act as sub-hostesses by including others in conversation, helping serve or clean up.

Tip: You don’t have to host a formal dinner to entertain your friends. I love picnicking in the park, wine and cheese tastings with my girlfriends and costume parties. What is important that you are an attentive and welcoming hostess. Have a Happy Halloween!

The Gracious Child

I know it’s hard to get a kid to sit down to write a thank you note, but the gesture is an important one that speaks volumes about how you are raising your children. My brother Paul came to visit us in the Hamptons with his family recently. His stepson Rinat, a budding journalist, wrote this article for his school newspaper. In it, he expresses his appreciation for his visit in such a sweet way. He also sent me a thank you note shortly after the visit.

“Visiting a Countess”

A few weeks ago, my family and I visited my step-aunt who lives in the Hamptons on Long Island. Her name is Luann, although most people know her as Countess Luann de Lesseps from the BRAVO television show, “The Real Housewives of New York City.” Luann is my step-dad’s sister so I figure that makes her my step-aunt.

Our journey started on the ferry to Orient Point, and then on two more ferries. My stepbrother and I kept asking “Are we there yet?” We finally pulled in her driveway, and I was amazed — her house was so big, I thought I was living in a dream! We were greeted by her dog, Aston, and welcomed by Luann and her children, Victoria and Noel. Victoria is 14 and you will see her on the show riding her horse, and Noel is 12, and you’ll see him riding his ATV in the yard.

Luann is also the author of a book titled, Class with the Countess, which was published earlier this year. Her book offers advice and tips on a number of subjects — from self-confidence to table settings. Luann and her children set a good example of “class” during our visit, and I can’t waitto visit them again soon. Visit Luann on Facebook — she’d love to hear from you!

Rinat Reed, Middlefield, Connecticut

I’m so proud of my step-nephew Rinat who took the time out of his busy life to write this article about our family. I was sent Rinat’s article with a nice photo via email. The way Rinat expressed his gratitude says a lot about my brother Paul and his new wife Denise.

Tip: Children can acknowledge generosity in many ways whether it is a phone call, an email or a hand written note, which is by far is the most impressive. It’s the gesture that matters.

Behavior Matters

It’s disappointing when public figures behave rudely. We live in a fame-oriented society where children look up to celebrities and emulate their behavior. Just because someone is rich, famous or powerful doesn’t mean that they can behave rudely and hurt others.

This past week, we’ve seen Kanye West disrespect Taylor Swift on national television. What was he thinking? He stole her moment and cannot give it back, no matter how much he apologizes. We also witnessed Serena Williams berating a tennis judge after disagreeing with a call. She could have let the judge know that she was unhappy with the call without being threatening. Even Kanye and Serena’s most ardent fans may lose respect for them after their outbursts.

Did you see Representative Joe Wilson shout “You Lie” while the President was giving a speech on healthcare reform? Whatever your opinion is on the healthcare issue, we can all agree that Wilson’s behavior was very rude and unacceptable.

Kanye, Serena, and Congressman Wilson have personally and publicly apologized for their rude behavior, which I commend. Although we all make mistakes and no one is perfect, these three incidents were completely unnecessary and could have been avoided.

Tip: You must tread carefully when you are dealing with differences of opinion. Open-minded people can discuss anything without tempers flaring.